Panther Talk: How Pitt Wins the ACC: A Satire

Football season is drawing near and hopes are high for most college football teams (Rutger fans cannot possibly be optimistic, right?). Pitt is coming off of a trip to the ACC Championship where the got stomped by Clemson, but we are here to let you all know how Pitt can get over the hump and win the ACC in 2019!

Kenny Gets his Miami Game Confidence Back

durangoherald.com
After Kenny's stellar performance in the upset over #2 Miami in 2017 where he had the confident of a hall of fame QB, it seems as if the Monstars came and stole Kenny's confidence from him for the 2018 season. Lucky us, we have made a deal with the Monstars that they will return Kenny's confidence in return for Shawn Watson's playcalling sheet. Fair trade, right?
nerdist.com

Trevor Lawrence Ruled Ineligible by NCAA
SI.com
Trevor Lawrence is ruled ineligible by the NCAA as his true identity of being Ronnie Bass (famously from Remember the Titans) comes out. Since Ronnie Bass already played four seasons at South Carolina, he is out of eligibility and Clemson is left scrambling for a new QB. 
ranker.com

Leave UVA and Cuse Alone because they’re Overhyped

UVA and Syracuse are both some of the most overhyped teams in the history of college football, so nothing needs to be done to them as they will not be main contenders for the ACC anyway. 

Grant Carrigan Resembles Scott Orndoff

"Wow, Pitt tight end Grant Carrigan is really resembling former tight end Scott Orndoff out their on the field catching all those touchdowns. Carrigan has really trimmed down over the offseason, what a hard worker! Speaking of Scott Orndoff, I wonder what he is up to now that the AAF is out of business... Wait a minute...."
pittnews.com

Duzz Coaches Like it's his Last Season and Brings Back the Narduzzlers!

Arizonasports.com
Some of Duzz's best moments as a coach have been with trick plays (minus the switch-a-roo punter he tried to pull against Notre Dame last year), and Duzz will unleash his entire assortment of trick plays, aka, Narduzzlers, and Pitt will be an unstoppable force. Teams will never know what's coming.

Move the ACC Championship North so Clemson Gets Cold

boston.com
Time to bring the champs to our home environment. Clemson has the luxury of playing down in the south where they do not have to deal with the cold weather and snow of winter, but with a move of the ACC Championship game to New Era Field in Buffalo, Pitt will have the ultimate home field advantage as the field will be a sheet of ice and Pitt will be ACC Champs!
sweetbuffalo716.com
There you have it, Pitt fans. When all this happens this season, Pitt will be ACC Champs and Pitt fans around the world will rejoice with Panther Bombs! 

Thanks for reading and as always, Hail to Pitt!

-Aaron and Ryan, TGYK

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