The Bachelorette Week 7: Raise Your Hand If You're Starting to Feel Exhausted

I went into this week with an open mind despite the disappointment of last week. It kicked off with a one-on-one with Garret. I have no issue with Garrett, but I feel like he has no function other than to advance Luke P's plot. Sorry pal. As with most one-on-one's he gets to tell Hannah about whatever hardship has made him who he is. In Garrett's case it's some obscure dilemma between playing golf or football. I don't really care about Garrett's "Troy Bolton" sob story. Most importantly, Hannah and Garrett are bungee jumping naked caused Luke P to truly short circuit.

On the group date, I tried not to focus on Luke P losing his damn mind over Hannah's bungee jumping fiasco. There are other incredible guys who got a glimpse of screen time thank god. Additionally, Hannah was kind of plastered on this date, which I also love. We all swoon when Tyler gives her flowers on a group date because he's Tyler C and everything he does is magic. I've attached a picture of Tyler C in this article and not Luke because Hannah should acquire the same type of laser focus. Recent headlines now make me roll my eyes at Jed. He has broken America's heart. When he was like 'Hannah you look lovely,' I wanted to scream at the TV; SHUT UP JED I BET YOU'RE LYING ABOUT THAT TOO, but whatever... The American public was personally victimized because we had to listen to Luke say, "Her body is her temple and to expose it to anyone who isn't her husband is a slap in the face." I wonder how his temple felt when he screwed anything that moved in college? Like a raging STD? Please let us know Luke. He said he felt like he had been cheated on which is wild since it's been well established that this is a show where Hannah dates 30 men at once, but go off. Who got the group date rose you might ask? Well Tyler C said, "You looked heavensome. You looked like an angel. I pray to god you're my angel," which was followed by Hannah straddling him (and rightfully so), so I think it goes without saying that he had no competition on this date.

Pilot Peters moment has finally come. With one-on-one opportunity, he is ready to take Hannah on the wings of love and off into oblivion. Hannah and her Pilot Peter have come to wear flower crowns and open their hearts to each other through sweat, as only you do on Bachelorette dates. I find Peter to be the actual definition of benign, but he tossed that persona to the wind the second him and Hannah got into a sauna. It was hot and steamy and that is exactly what Hannah is here for. At dinner, it's just evident how good Peter is. Peter is the guy you want coaching your son's little league team. Peter is going to hold a bright pink diaper bag with confidence. He comes at her with a sweet grandmother story. He whips out a sexy second language. They burn it down with their fire. Like millions of good guys before him, he will end up heart broken, and you all know it.

I don't need to recap the rest of the episode because you've seen it roughly six times before. Hannah has to discipline Luke as if he's a 5-year-old. Hannah cries because he is physically unable to not be a psychopath. Luke tries his best to apologize but it always sounds like he's blaming her instead. He backtracks so hard I'm convinced he might start moving backwards through time. The rest of the men fight with Luke because they are also exhausted by him. It ends with Hannah giving him a rose despite all of this while he says, "There's goodness inside of you and I see that." Whatever magical glasses she has, send them my way, so I can watch these episodes without wanting to pull my hair out. This is the first episode where I'm really starting to blame Hannah for keeping him. I know she was afraid of getting rid of the guy she had the most immediate chemistry with because she really wants to walk away with a fiance. But at this point, she has significant connections with multiple other men and all Luke does is hurt her with his idiotic comments. She has some real gems in this group of guys who deserve her time. There's no way she can justify giving him any more of her time and attention because it will always lead nowhere. And we the people want more of Tyler C. Dustin and Dylan get sent home, which is a shame because we never really got to see enough of them. I'm sure they are wonderful people without abusive tendencies like someone else we know. See you in paradise, Kings.

-Those Girls You Know